Hey Goddess,

“Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry”.

Was this forwarded to you?

Beyond Self-Sabotage: Embrace Vulnerability and Deepen Your Friendships

Today, I'm feeling incredibly vulnerable and reflective. Lately, life has been showering me with so much goodness, but it didn't start that way this year. I faced unexpected challenges that really knocked me down. Yet, looking back, I see how every struggle led me precisely to where I am now—this amazing place filled with positivity. However, amidst all this happiness, I find myself worrying about my own self-sabotaging tendencies and fearing that something might go wrong. It's funny how these thoughts about my own experiences somehow loop back to you and your friendships.

You know, one of the most beautiful yet challenging things about friendships is the hope we invest in them when they begin. We want them to last forever, and we hold on tightly, sometimes a little too much. But in doing so, we miss out on fully enjoying the precious moments that surround us. It's like waiting for that elusive other shoe to drop. I've learned that friendships are a risk—a leap of faith we take to discover meaningful connections and grow as individuals. And in that process, we uncover those cherished, long-lasting bonds we yearn to nurture.

So, here's a couple of heartfelt tips to help us all escape our overthinking minds and embrace the present with our dear friends.

• Practice gratitude: Take a moment each day to appreciate the positive aspects of your friendships. Reflect on the good times you've shared, the support you've received, and the laughter you've experienced together. Cultivating gratitude can help shift your focus away from negative thoughts and keep you present in the moment.

• Challenge negative thoughts: When you catch yourself worrying about potential problems in your friendships, challenge those thoughts with evidence to the contrary. Remind yourself of the positive experiences you've had so far and the genuine connections you've built. Don't let unfounded fears overshadow the joy of the present.

• Embrace vulnerability: Understand that friendships, like any relationship, come with inherent risks. Embracing vulnerability allows you to be open and authentic with your friends, deepening the bond and creating a more meaningful connection. Embrace the uncertainty, knowing that it's a natural part of any relationship's growth.

• Practice mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness techniques to ground yourself in the present moment. Whether it's meditation, deep breathing exercises, or simply paying attention to your surroundings, mindfulness helps you stay focused on the "now" and prevents excessive overthinking.

• Communicate openly: If you find yourself caught up in worries and self-sabotaging thoughts, consider sharing your feelings with your friends. Open communication can foster understanding and strengthen your bonds. Chances are, they might have similar worries or concerns, and talking about it can provide mutual support.

• Set realistic expectations: Understand that friendships, like any dynamic, have their ups and downs. Avoid placing unrealistic expectations on yourself or your friends. Instead, embrace the ebb and flow of friendships and give each other the space to grow and change.

• Engage in activities together: Instead of dwelling on potential problems, focus on spending quality time with your friends. Plan fun activities or outings that allow you to create new memories and enjoy each other's company. Being present during these moments can strengthen your connection and alleviate anxieties about the future.

• Let go of control: Recognize that you cannot control every aspect of your friendships or predict the future. Surrendering the need for absolute certainty can help you relax and enjoy the journey, rather than being fixated on the destination.

• Be kind to yourself: Don't be too hard on yourself if you catch yourself over thinking or feeling anxious about your friendships. Remember that everyone goes through moments of doubt. Treat yourself with compassion and understanding, allowing room for growth and self-improvement.

• Seek professional support if needed: If you find that your worries and anxieties about friendships are overwhelming and affecting your well-being, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. They can help you navigate your thoughts and emotions, providing valuable guidance to improve your overall mental health and relationships.